If communication is indeed the foundation of marriage, then breakdowns in healthy communication can lead to the destruction of this union. Recent research has confirmed that one of the most toxic forms of interaction within a relationship is nagging. A co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies recently put it best: "Nagging is the enemy of love, if allowed to persist."

Experts have explained that people often feel the need to nag when they perceive that they are unlikely to receive what they need from their partner. They feel that they must ask repeatedly in order to have a chance to receive what is desired. Unfortunately, persistent nagging has been described as the kind of toxic dynamic which can spell the end of a relationship. In the context of marriage, persistent nagging can be the type of deal-breaker that inspires couples to divorce.

Thankfully, there are strategies which couples may employ in order to reduce persistent nagging and improve their overall communication. Suggestions include the following:

  • Recognize that persistent nagging is a vicious cycle which can be stopped
  • Work to understand what makes your partner feel the need to nag or ignore your nagging requests
  • Approach any communication involving requests calmly and with respect for the other person
  • Communicate clearly about why your requests are important to you
  • Discuss what kind of timeframe is reasonable for the completion of any requested efforts
  • Prioritize your requests and do your best to ensure that they are reasonable under you and your partner's given circumstances
  • Consider completing the request yourself or outsourcing it to someone else in order to save requests for your partner which are uniquely necessary for him or her to complete

Many feel that a healthy marriage is based on a foundation of communication. In order to keep communication productive and healthy, couples may need to find an alternative to the toxic practice of nagging.

Source: Wall Street Journal, "Meet the marriage killer," Jan. 25, 2012