When a divorcing couple shares children, the people most affected by the divorce may ultimately be the kids. The strain of divorce can damage the relationship between parents and children, unless parents work to ease the emotional burden being placed on their kids.

Sometimes, a child's anger, frustration, fear, neediness or distance from a parent can seem disproportionate to the situation or out of control. The challenging fact is that children and teens are just learning how to manage emotional stress. It is a parent's responsibility to connect with children and help them cope.

Even when a child's emotions are overwhelming, consistent and proactive behavior from parents can (and likely will) aid children in bouncing back from a divorce and repair what damage has been done so far.

Parents should keep the following tips in mind when trying to mend their relationship with a child following a divorce:

  • Spend what time you have with your kids interacting in deliberately caring, empathetic, trustworthy and dependable ways
  • Show your children that they are worthy of your time, energy and focus
  • Play with younger children: drawing, make-believe and building structures can help children focus their emotional energy in constructive ways and connect with you at the same time
  • Connect with teens by taking an interest in what intrigues them; they may not show it, but if you genuinely care about what they are doing, they will benefit from your support
  • Get out of the house and interact in the larger world; going to a favorite restaurant, taking a walk or going to the movies (which is a great alternative if you are exhausted emotionally and need a rest) are all excellent choices
  • Support your child's school activities, sports and other pastimes
  • Talk to your kids often and with sincere interest and understanding for what they have to say

Divorce can be very challenging for children and teens. Parenting with active and consistent care and concern for your children can make all the difference in your relationship after all is said and done.

Source: Huffington Post, "Don't divorce your kids," Nancy Fagan, Feb. 2, 2012